Thursday, May 31, 2012

I Found Magic.

If you follow me at all on twitter or know, all the cool kids social networking know that I'm in the midst of my 8 week Women's Health/OB session.
And I am completely head over heels about this aspect of nursing.
I found my passion.
{And, true to people with a passion, I may or may not be a teensy bit annoying about gushing on and on about it.
But, also true to people with a passion, I don't care if I annoy you...I'm going to keep on gushing.}

I shadowed a friend for a shift on an L&D floor at one of St. Louis' biggest and best hospitals last week.
{Thanks, Nicole!}

The day was perfect. 
I learned so much, saw a great nurse in action and, best of all, watched a couple of new mama's meet their babies for the first time.

I drove home after my 12 hour day with my feet hurting, my back protesting and my eyes filled with grateful tears.
I am on the road to doing something I love so much that it makes me cry.

Here's the magic:
God did this thing when he created the mother/baby relationship.
He decided that a mother would carry her baby inside of her body.
In a dark, concealed place.
There are nine months of beautiful bonding that happens - where two people are closer than should ever be humanly possible - and the bond is strong and unbreakable and right.
But the mother doesn't see this small person that she has been building inside of her.
She doesn't know what it will look like, feel like, smell like, until her favorite of all people is born into the world.
And this is why I'm so in love with L&D...
That moment of meeting.
That first glimpse and first touch. 
I am there for that.
I'm there.
And it creates this high that brings me floating above the darkened hospital room with a newly mewling baby and a gasping mother and a beaming father.
It brings me to {at the risk of sounding like a complete loon} a spiritual place.
I stand awed by this God who would have the creativity and love for us to dream up such a breathtaking relationship and union between two people and then think to culminate it in the intense experience of birth.
So, yeah, I love L&D for quite a selfish reason.
It makes me happy.
And it brings me closer to God...I stand open-mouthed and trembling when I see what He created.
You guys.
I'm giddy.
I am so going to love my job.

{And, just a lil disclaimer, I totally don't stand there with tears streaming down my face while a mom does the hard work of birthing her baby. 
I hold myself together and try to look like a normal, capable, trustworthy human being.
So please, erase all mental pictures of me with tear-stained cheeks sobbing and swaying in the corner as I mumble incoherently about miracles and God and new mamas and beautiful babies.
I'm keepin' it all on the inside.} 
: )
*Oh, and we can go ahead an cross off #3 on this list.*


Andrea said...

that is pure magic! birth is such a beautiful experience.

love that you're doing what you love, and finding your passion. there's nothing better than that in life if you work.

Burkinator said...

You've about made my eyes leak just thinking about this moment coming three months from now... I hope we have nurses that are even 3/8 as excited about this process as you are. :)

At Home in English Valley said...

Bless all who help to bring babies safely into the world. We were at the hospital when our daughter delivered our new grand daughter, with the help of Dad, a midwife and 2 nurses. Penny was so calm, eyes wide opened when we saw her just an hour or so after her birth. It is a miracle, and to witness that and not be moved would be impossible. Best of luck to you as you pursue this most wonderful career. Grandma Penny

Jamie Willow said...

so great Ash.

Callie said...

Love this blog. I'm so glad you found what is obviously a calling in your life. Your description of pregnancy is so beautiful, and accurate. I'm addicted to meeting my babies.