Monday, February 15, 2010

Flyboy Bachelor - Episode Seven

Welp...last week I bombed out on my Bachelor post. For good reason, friends. I would have written a terribly cynical, insulting recap of the women (cough...Vienna...cough...Ali...) so I decided to keep my mouth shut.

In the words of Thumper, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
Not taking good old T's advice this week...

Gia - I could see the departure coming. There just wasn't the same depth of connection between she and Jake. I wish she didn't wear the tiara. The End.

Ali's phone call - Scripted much, anyone? This whole Ali/Jake phenom totally strikes me as planned from start to finish. I've also heard from this very trusted source (who heard from another very trusted source) that Ali is planned as the next Bachelorette. Gag me with a broken spoon.

Tenley - Still cute. Still cheesey. Still apple pie. (Reference to last week: I so knew her family's home would be Americana decor! I knew it!) Still my favorite. Still waaaay better than Vienna Sausage.

Vienna - The girl makes me cringe. Her fashion (mis) sense. Her "hair." (or shall I say, "her" hair?) Her weird teeny-bopper way of speaking. Her eyes...what is wrong there?!
Second reference to last week: Did you see her family? Major ick. How in the world did Jake take her father seriously with 18 inches of glasses between his eyes and her dad's? They were so trash-ola. 100%.
But, he likes her. She's his girl. I don't get it.

And one last visual to cap off your seventh episode of The Bachelor.

What Tenley does on the beach:

What Vienna does on the beach:
Next up: Women Tell All. I think I'll go buy one of those creepy stress reliever balls for next Monday night; 'cause Lord knows I can't down a glass of wine to mellow me out.


Sarah said...

I am so glad I do not watch this show!! Only one season I watch, can't even recall which one. So are you ready for baby???? BABY B IS COMING SOOOON! Woot~!

Alicia Marie said...

Ugg. I hate man whore/"fantasty" suite week. Gross. My husband thinks Vienna looks like a man. I could NOT stomach it. Probably wont be able to stomach the ending either.

Mrs. B. said...

Very well said, Alicia! It is really disturbing. :(

Lyndee said...

I will drink that glass of wine for you Mrs. B! The Jake man deserves better than it looks like he will end up with unless he dumps them all at the end which could happen...I would have hired a private detective to report on their previous activities to find out who was truthful and who was the liar. I know a man that did that and he got a great wife!

Maegan said...

Ugh..Im just disappointed. I agree with everything you said.

Vienna's eyes!? wtf?! Jake-LOOK AT HER DADS FACE..That is what she will look like in her later years.

I really hate that he keeps saying his all about values..then picks the bikini model 23 year old.

I know I am only 24..but I have more maturity in my pinky toe than she does at all..I just DONT get it. Why Jake?! WHY!?

Did you see the picture of Jake's hot personal trainer cousin?

Andrea said...

I just watched an interview w/ Ali on Ellen today and have since decided that she's kinda annoying and I don't want her to be the next Bachelorette.

I don't get it Vienna & Tenley are worlds apart. I hate that he picks Vienna!

Nuff said.

PS- love your Bach. posts!

Rae Nolt said...

I'm done with this season. DONE. If I wasn't so snoopy I wouldn't watch the rest of the season, but I torture myself by watching it...hoping SOMETHING will come out GOOD. So far, nothing. Didn't like the girls...and frankly, I don't like Jake. He's going to get hurt again and I'm kind of glad. Mean, I know...but I can't handle it.
Chris Harrison needs to read your blog so he can see how America REALLY feels....

Jamie Willow said...

your post had me snarky laughing out loud...loved it.

ahhh...I love monday's. I love being annoyed by these annoying girls. I love fake reality tv. I love it all. hehe!