Thursday, June 11, 2009

No Problem, Mon.

Be forewarned: There are lots of photos in this post. But please, look at them.
#1 - They are pretty gorgeous.

#2 - It took what feels like 40 years of my precious life to upload them all.


Details about our trip to Jamaica are going to come in bullet points. Because, seriously, who wants to read entire, dreadful bloggy paragraphs? No one. Paragraphs are for books and essays.

- I adored Jamaica. The people, the food (off the resort), the music, the land, the sea, the...everything. (Not the weed, didn't encounter the weed.)

- Our resort was impressive. Fab, really. The largest pool I have EVER seen. It just rambled and trickled all the way around the hotel. Bridges were built to get you around it and several bars dotted the need a refreshment to make it, apparently.

- Off the resort was rugged and poor and real. So cool to see a broke-down shack with a million + dollar view of the ocean. I almost convinced myself I could live that way...and then thought of bathrooms and decided I probably couldn't.

- The food. I mentioned the food. But it was GOOD. The jerk, that is. We had jerk chicken off the resort a few times and enjoyed every spicy morsel. The food on the resort? Not yummy. Not yummy at all. :(

- We decided that the most entertaining of all things on our trip was the people-watching. Yup, we watch people. We do it well. We even make assumptions about people based on what they look like.
I'll even admit that we had nicknames for some of our fellow vacationers: "Leather Breast" (she was a topless sunbather), "Drunk Lady" (never sober), "Awkward Couple" (there were a few of those, we distinguished them with numbers 1, 2 and 3.), "The Baptist Honeymooners," and there was a whole passel of, "Is She a Stripper or Just European?" girls too.
-We did a whole lot of lolling by the water. Beach, pool, hot all works for us.

-We call these 'Happy Feet.'

- - We took a taxi into the city of Ocho Rios one afternoon. To bargain hunt and haggle (Mr. B's expertise) with the local artisans.

-Mandatory sunset photo:

-Not so mandatory eerie night sky photo:
-The weather was gorgeous. We were skeptical from hearing that we are dead in the middle of the rain season, but it was fine. One afternoon downpour and all was clear.

-These are a few of my favorite scenery photos. Taken off the beaten track in the mountains.

- They really use, "Yeah, Mon!" as a part of their regular vernacular there! I thought maybe it was a myth, like how people think everyone in Chicago says, "Da Bears" or like everything in Texas being bigger. It's not. I was absolutely thrilled, grinning from ear to ear to hear them say it. ("No problem, Mon" is another big one.)

- Not as boring and lax as you might think, we hoisted ourselves from our beach lounges long enough to climb a waterfall (Dunn's River Falls) and cruise on a zip line through the treetops.

- One benefit of not losing all the weight you wanted before your vacation: When you slip straight to your rear end while climbing a rushing waterfall it is surprisingly pleasant. Just a little bounce, maybe red cheeks from slight embarrassment and off you go, on your merry, flabby bottomed way!

- The Canopy Tour (zip line) was one of the best things I've ever done.

- How I felt about the zip line:

- How poor Mr. B. felt about the zipline:

- And then, just like that, as quick as lightening, it was time to go home.

- Our trip home was a bit nightmare-ish. American Airlines botched big time (giving details will make my blood pressure rise, so I will not) and we got stuck in Miami overnight. Hated every moment of it. I just wanted to get out of the blasted, night club/hotel we got stuck in and get back to my babies.

- Now all we have left is our Marley playlist, sun-browned skin, a smattering of freckles and memories to hold us over until our next meander into Jamaica-land. I am ready to go back yesterday...


Rae Nolt said...

I've been waiting and waiting for this post! :) Glad you had fun! LOVE LOVE LOVE the pics! Beautiful!!!!

Sarah said...

How fun to read!! It looks as though you had a fantastic time, thanks for sharing it with us!

The Arnold Family said...

Yay!!! LOVED reading and looking at all the pics! I want to go! I told Lee I want to go somewhere for our 10 year. That's 4 years away...

Mrs. W said...

your trip looks so amazing! glad you guys had that time together! i enjoyed the pics too!

Mrs.M said...

Oh, I want to go!!

Mrs. D said...

It looks like you guys had soooo much fun!!! Love all the pictures!!

StephG said...

It looks like you guys had a great time!!!! I love the comment about falling at the Falls!! So funny..."flabby bottomed way"...I started cracking up, well, quietly laughing since my kiddos are still asleep! That's a miracle so I'm being super :)

Jamie Willow said...

you are an amazing blogger! just the right amount of text and photo's...combined to make a delightful read for people like me who live vicariously!

Alissha said...

Beautiful pictures! Makes me want my own tropical vacation.

Kim said...

so happy you had so much fun!! strippers or european...cracked me up! but its so true.

Jamie Willow said...

I talked to Ira for a while today and so enjoyed hearing his version of the zip line saga :) what a hoot. the picture of him hugging a tree is perfect. lol.

Stephanie said...

Oh.. Missy..I am european.. Do not ever forget that.. ;) Reid and I play our own version of the game called Gay or European..

Also, I could tell the same story about slipping on a flabby butt, but you can change the location to Thailand.. Like you it was kinda nice and bouncy..

I love the pictures of your trip, especially the ones of the resort..And also, I HATE resort food. Who is it that has informed these ridiculous resorts that all tourists want to eat is crap and bad tasting crap while they are it it? I don't get it.. If I ever open a hotel it will be lovely food.

Stephanie said...

I meant to say out of the resort. I love the pictures where you are off the beaten track and looks like you are in the middle of the jungle with a bunch of local kids...