Sunday, September 23, 2007

Birthday Letter to My Boy

Written September 1, 2006 ~ Beck's 1st birthday

Since Thursday, September 1, 2005 my life gained a new dimension. Beck Wayne was born. This warm, slippery body was placed on my chest and I held his hand for the first time. That was it. I was a gonner. That warm, limp hand snatched my heart away and has had it ever since.
How can something 22 inches long and weighing 8 lbs 7 oz change my life so completely?
It's that smile. The cry. The way he looks when he sleeps. It's his eyes - the sparkle that is so Alive! It's the giggle. His crooked baby teeth. It's the way he cuddles with me after his nap. His squeals when he walks with daddy holding his hands. It's the wary way he eyes strangers. It's how he claps his hands - exact replicas of his daddy's. It's just him.
Beck Wayne. My son. You are a miracle. And while it brings me so much joy to watch you grow and learn new things I want to yell, "Stop!" I want to have the magic power to travel back in time and witness again our first full night together in Ridges Hospital. To see, again, your first bite of cereal, how excited you were but how you spit it out anyway. To take walks with you again in our old neighborhood. To help you sit up and catch you when you topple. I just want to hold on to those time you gave me. Little you.
But I can't. My one. Never to be three months, seven months, ten months again. One.
Thank you, my precious boy, for making me who I am. Because just as you've learned and grown, so have I. You taught me how to be a mommy - and I have to say, you did a great job.
Now you are learning to walk. No steps on your own yet, but soon. You stood for about 3 seconds on your own today and then flopped to your bottom with a big smile.
You said, "-ose" and pointed to my nose. you gave me the funniest, coy little eyes this morning. A new face I've never seen before.
I am so happy you are one and I am so excited to see what your future holds. Who my happy little boy is destined to become.
God has blessed our first year together. I cannot imagine my life without you now. I love you and will love you forever until the day I die and beyond that.


Beth said...

Aww, very sweet. Thx for sharing. Almost makes me think I'm ready for one. Almost... :)

The Arnold Family said...

Aww. So sweet.